God IS Love

I'm reading this book called "Incomparable: Exploring the Character of God." There have been so many things that God has revealed to me about Himself, me, and my relationship with Him over the last 4 months in Korea. But the most prevalent thing He has been pressing on me is the truth of His overwhelming love. How I can feel Him loving me through others. How I'm able to love others better because He loves me.

The chapter "God is Love" was just so good that I wanted to put a big chunk of it up here. Here goes.

"... Come to a cowshed in the Middle East in 4 BC. Love is not a fuzzy feeling, but a self-giving commitment that results in action... It involved sending the Son, from his position in heavenly glory and sinless perfection, to earth, to become flesh. ... It involved the Son laying aside his majesty and becoming an infant who fell over and vomited and soiled his nappy and grazed his knees. It involved walking a mile in our shoes, facing temptation of all kinds, misunderstanding, bereavement and rejection. 'In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent his only Son into the world, so that we might live through him.'

Now come with me about ten miles north of there, to a rubbish dump outside Jerusalem, 33 years later. Much has changed. The infant, the most powerful symbol of the love of God that could ever have been given, has grown up into a man, but a man no longer physically recognisable because of the welts on his face and the ripped flesh across his chest and back. The sky above him no longer has bright stars in the night, but dark clouds in the day. The two people next to him are not loving parents, but common criminals; the crowds have changed from saying 'Hosanna in the highest' to 'His blood be upon us and our children'. His earthly father has died. His closest friends have abandoned, denied or betrayed him. His enemies have mocked and humiliated him. The government has stripped, tortured and crucified him. And the wrath of God at all our lies and lusts and pride and envy and greed is being poured out on him, breaking utterly the fellowship with the Father and the Spirit which he has experienced and exulted in since before the foundation of the world.

If that doesn't explain to you what the love of God is, come closer to the cross, and listen to what Jesus is saying. The only one who matters is thinking of his mother, his friend, and even the criminal next to him. The God who created water is asking for a drink. The God-man whose presence had never borne any sin is crying out in anguish at being forsaken by his Father. The man with nails through his wrists and feet, his lungs slowly filling with his own blood, is crying out, 'Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.' Astoundingly , the one who decided to allow man to make his own choices, is now fully experiencing their consequences, is shouting triumphantly that those consequences have been dealt with, finished - a victory cry which still resounds across history, affirming once and for all that the love of God is a love of both power and passion, both perfection and propitiation."

Oh, how He loves us so.

Ballad of an Almost Christmas

As it is finally the week of Christmas I want to take this time to say... it doesn't seem like Christmas at all. Don't get me wrong, I've had a great December - God has blessed me so much with friends and love. What I miss though, is family.

I miss my sisters. I miss our crazy Christmas skit tradition.

Every year, we would wake up our parents and tell them to come out to the living room in 5 min. Then we would get in our places. Guess which one I was:

1. a. Mary, b. Joseph, and c. a wiseman

2. a. Santa, b. his elf, and c. the reindeer

3. a. 1st present, b. 2nd present, c. 3rd present that had to wrap itself after wrapping 1st and 2nd.

If you guess c for all, you were right! Congratulations. You got a look into my childhood.

I miss my parents. I miss the perfect gifts they would give. Even last year when we didn't get home til Christmas night from being snowed out of Seattle, my mom had a book by J.M. Barrie and my dad had a book by George MacDonald. Perfect.

I miss the house. The Christmas village on top of the piano, the REAL Christmas tree (though I guess right now I'd take a fake one with all our ornaments). The different ornaments mom got us every year, so we have a collection all our own. The Christmas music playing constantly from the moment I got up til I layed my head down, throughout the month of December. Watching movies every night (Muppet Christmas Carol, White Christmas, The Santa Clause, Jingle All the Way, It's a Wonderful Life). A Christmas puzzle a day... at least it seemed like.

Of Decembers, I've had the best. But I miss Christmas.

I Tried...

I really did.

But something snapped tonight and I couldn't wait. I lit'rally couldn't stop my fingers from typing those little white keys on my Mac in the iTunes search tab - "Hotel Cafe".

Wait, what, you ask? Yes, yes I said Hotel Cafe.

Last winter Hotel Cafe, a small and amazing venue in Hollywood, released a Christmas album comprised of such great voices as Brandi Carlile, Ingrid Michaelson, Colbie Caillat, Fiona Apple, and more. But, alas, I did not obtain said album until March of this last year and that was way too early to begin the Christmas music. I distracted myself well enough since then, yet this album was always in the back of my mind (and my iTunes) waiting to be played.

Tonight, it happened.

I came home. Lit some candles. Put on a pot of English Breakfast tea. Which is all fine. This has been done before and the temptation has been resisted, if yet begrudgingly. But not tonight. Tonight there were twinkle lights. They had to be hung up.

One can't very well have all of this Christmas feel and NOT have the music. I mean, it would've been wrong. How wrong? Well, more wrong than listening to Christmas music before Thanksgiving, I would think. And did think. Thought.

Because I did it. I listened to Christmas music before Thanksgiving. So sue me. Wow, haven't used that phrase in a while. Fitting.

Some Thinking

"As the days keep turning into nights, and even breathing feels alright..."

Philippians 4:12 - I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.

We started a Bible study Thursday morns at beloved Kim's house, and we're going through Philippians.

I love Philippians. I love that in my Bible there is a note that says content can also mean self-sufficient. Of course, not a self that is independent of God. It's one that is fully dependent on Him; complete in that dependence and content in it. Needs nothing else. Self-sufficient.

It's really not that hard to know this contentment in Korea though. I would say God has given me more than plenty. I'm full. A deep fullness that almost hurts at how close and real it is.

1 Corinthians 13:12 - Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

I feel known here. So close and so real.

So Much...

"How is Korea?"

I can answer this very simply - "amazing." But any way I answer will never convey how completely blessed I am to be over here. Even if I were able to explain it, it wouldn't do my life here justice. I can't convey that much understanding in one simple answer. How do I explain the peace I feel? The gratitude and freedom? The love I feel? So much love.

Here's how I'll start.

Whitney: Mama Hen. She takes care of us. She has such an open and welcoming heart and personality. She's Canadian. I feel safe and happy around her. Effortless calming presence. Great spooner.

Charissa: I am amazed and jealous of her sense of adventure. I can always count on her to remember any minute detail of our friendship - and there are many. We quote movies, books, and TV shows. She is legen - wait for it - dary.

Tayla: There is so much life in her. I love her humor - she can always make me laugh. She is so direct and open. Most quoted person of our group, I would say. "Lovin you!"

Kelsey: I can't get over how much she loves people. Loves talking to them, and really getting to know them. And we lived on a sailboat together - oh yes.


Kelly: She has such a huge heart. And it was open immediately to all of us. She loves with her whole self, and has such a determined and passionate faith. I trust her scootering abilities completely.

Anna: "I love your hair." Serious statement. She is wise and caring. I look up to her for both these qualities. She is so talented - I could listen to her sing and play the uke for hours "... and teach them how to dance..."

Katie: Full of joy. It overflows from her into all the rest of us. I love being around her, and I love how motivated she is. I respect her determination. If I ever feel like swing dancing, I know who to call.

So how do I answer the question: "How is Korea?" Can I answer it with a grammatically incorrect answer? Shhh... don't tell my students.

"So much Amazing."

Oh the People You'll Meet

Real Conversation - started by discussing the Asian delicacy of dog.

Mindy: So you think a Chihuahua would go good with salsa?

Frankel: The power of advertising. You know Chihuahua, the dog, is actually an Asian dog?

Hannah: Then how was it named after the city in Mexico?

Frankel: Actually, the dog was named first. The city was named after the dog.

Me: How did the Asians name their dog a Mexican name?

Frankel: Well, Chihuahua is actually a Native American word.

Hannah: So, how did the dog end up over here?

Frankel: About 10,000 years ago they walked across the land bridge between Russia and Alaska over the Bering Strait with the huskies, and then down through Canada and America. Or else, they came across on a ship. Imagine that, a Chihuahua on a Polynesian ship.

It was around this time my mouth dropped open. I couldn't believe my good fortune of being able to be a part of such an epic conversation. Maybe not epic. Quote-worthy for sure. Hence, this post.

Thursday Class

Me: Hungry is the opposite of starving. (I was very tired)

Pluto: No, Teacher. Let me do it. See watch - hungry is the opposite of full and starving is the opposite of full. See?

---------------------------

Me: Okay, so today we're going to try something new called an Oral Summary.

Pluto: A Yellow Submarine???

I Dream in Detail

I move into a new place. At first I'm sure it's Korea, but then I realize it's the apartments at Azusa. And I know, as you can only know in dreams, that I've gone back in time. I'm attending Azusa in its early days, but its also modern times, as that can only work out in dreams as well. 

My roommates, whom I am only separated by a sliding door, decide to make my room theirs, and constantly use my TV for video games and my bed for napping. This is not okay. But as I am an undercover agent, sent to discover the strange cult that is at the center of the university, I must not cause trouble. I'm only a week away from the big "event" that initiates me fully into Azusa "doctrine". I can't blow it now. 

The day of the event, I'm told to report to the field at 6 pm. My roommates decide to use this day to be the most annoying and intrusive that they possibly can. So I decide to run up the wall, and body slam the girl into the bed. I can because I'm a secret agent. We all can do that. Obviously a fight breaks out, and it is me and another agent against the roommates (co-ed, because apparently it was acceptable at the time). Security comes, and as my room was where the fighting started, I am the one who is going to be taken in for questioning.

The other agent and I quickly lock eyes and switch bodies. My body, with her in it, is taken away, while me in her body quietly makes my exit for the event. We're so close. We couldn't risk missing our big chance. That's what I call taking one for the team.

I inform Kelsey that she is to accompany me so it looks like I'm fitting in at Azusa and have friends. We find seats on the front bleacher. There is already a line for initiation. We watch on the screen as each person files down into this tarp-covered and water-filled hole and then up out the other side. Each time someone approaches the hole we hear their thoughts in our heads. They all are thinking "I'm finally one of them. I believe. I've made it." Until one girl gets up and we hear "I don't believe. I'm not sure I want this. What am I doing here?" 

I tell Kelsey that this is the time I have to intervene. I knew something bad was about to happen. There's no time. She approaches the hole. As we watch her wade through, a picture of her body flashes on to the projected screen and suddenly we look over at the hole and she's gone. She's dead. We all know it instantly. 

Kelsey jumps out of her seat and yells "This isn't right! You can't do this! You need to stop this immediately!" The rest of the crowd is confused, but the leaders start rushing towards Kelsey to overtake and quiet her. I must complete my mission. I must expose them for who they are. I run through the gathering crowd and pull the tarp up from over the hole and the dead bodies, including the body of the girl, are exposed for all to see. The crowd is enraged and they turn on the leaders. I fly off through the air to dispose of the tarp that had covered up so much evil. Kelsey is the Aaron to my Moses, and speaks to the crowd to calm them. 

Then I am outside all of this and I see these words on a movie screen before my eyes: "And so began Azusa's purification from the cult and its foundation as a Christian university. These cultic early days are the reason for so much tension between Biola and Azusa." 

I'm so glad it has finally been explained to me.

Oh the Joys of Teaching!

One day more! (Les Mis fans will recognize)

I have almost completed my first full week of teaching, and despite one rowdy class of boys, its been amazing. Not saying I don't love that class, just that it takes a lot of creativity to focus them. And that's what makes it one of my favorite classes, though difficult. I guess I shouldn't complain, cause Kels' rowdy boys class is way more disruptive.

I love my classroom, my kids, and my job! First week positivity coming out, I know, but if I don't put this all down for posterity than I won't have any bright report to look back on when Week 11 hits. Ha! Let's hope I'm still whistling this tune then, right?

Another weekend approaches, another chance to find cheap furniture, explore an unknown part of this beautiful and strange place, and meet new and foreign friends! ONE DAY MORE!

Another fun note of today - I got to hear from the guys on Skype! It was fun seeing their faces, if only for a minute (Ben and Andrew) and also getting to talk (Jeff and Josiah). Yeah!

Ah-Yung-Ha-Se-Yo

... or Something Like That (Hello)

I'm in Korea. What?! I constantly have those moments of reflection where I laugh out loud. It's awesome. Besides the drag of having strep throat my first weekend here, I've really enjoyed getting to explore Seoul. But I will only tell of one such exploration, as it has been the best so far.

Charissa has the most amazing neighborhood. Yes, she's been here way longer so she's established a grocer, a market.... well, a reputation actually. She's the only foreigner and, it goes without saying, everyone's friend. She's the neighborhood blonde. Ha! Well, they all know her and love her (who wouldn't?). So we picked up some pizza, a Korean pear, and packed up a box with this, a blanket, and candles. Oh yes, candles.

We proceed to Olympic Park which is a magical place where one can escape the concrete. It is very oppressive. We climbed up a several flights of wooden stairs and weaved our way through winding pathways of grass and trees, until we came to a hill that overlooked the city. Or part of it, for it is expansive. So fun!

Next, we hopped on her bike, me riding sidesaddle on the back platform over the tire, and rode down to her favorite place in the park - a gazebo-type structure, in the midst of cherry blossom trees. Of course they're not in bloom, but it was still a magical place! We ate ice cream with candles here. I'm telling you, candles add to the adventure tenfold! So here's just a preview to my year in Korea!!

For All My Friends Who Think I'm the Clumsy One

Story 1:

My sister and her friend Shanley were running down an alleyway. Why, you ask? Why not, was their response. I'm not entirely sure of all the particulars in the case but this I do know: Bethany's shoes were slightly loose on her feet.

Imagine, if you will, my sister tripping and diving forward onto the gravelly pavement of the alleyway corridor. I have. Several times. 

She is alive, we can all rejoice, but her arm is a little worse for wear. 

Story 2:

My dad plays tennis; is rather skilled actually. In other words, I will never win a match against him until he is in a wheelchair - and maybe not even then. He passes on his knowledge by giving lessons and was doing one day, about a couple months ago.

Picture a shopping cart full of tennis balls, let's say two hundred. Now picture it tipping over an unseen curb, which also tripped up my dad, and trapping him between its wiry frame and the chain-linked fence behind him. 

Oh how the scattered tennis balls must've rejoiced in their freedom and laughed at the man who clumsily bestowed it.

---------

As a sidenote, I don't offer these little anecdotes as a way of making fun, rather, they are a very serious endeavor to present my own sometimes-confused equilibrium in their proper familial light.

Thoughts from the Dentist's Chair

So I'm sitting there getting my teeth cleaned (which I might add, is NOT on my Happy List) and my mind wandered. Do follow.


"I wonder if dental assistants take a specific course on Yes or No Questions? Because I couldn't very well give descriptive answers with both their hands in my mouth."

"Stop torturing that little boy!!! He's crying for a reason!!!!"

After overhearing that aforesaid 'little boy' got to pick a prize from the treasure chest: "I wonder if I get one too?"

"I wonder what the healthcare system is like in England, maybe it doesn't cover dental, and that's why they never go."

"All the rebellious humans from The Host probably will have horrible teeth after living in the caves for so long. Oh no, that's right, they have access to all the Healers' medicines now that they have Wanda and Sunny with them." (This will be harder for some to follow)

"If I was to choose between perfect eyesight and never having to go to the dentist again I would choose... well, shoot... both."

"I wonder if she realizes I'm avoiding eye contact."

"I hope they'll tell me if I have spatters of teeth-cleaning paste all over my face before I walk out of here."

"I think she's getting really annoyed when I breathe and fog up her little mirror."


Oh, the rabbit trails of my brain conversations.

In Random Places...

So I was in a friends car the other day and I looked over and saw this...

Seeing it made me feel overwhelmingly happy and comforted. Why? you might ask. Well, I had to ask myself the same question as I had instantly reached over, grabbed my camera, and snapped a picture of the mirror - my friend was somewhat perturbed. Yes, perturbed.

I realized that seeing these words was comforting like a warm blanket, or favorite book, or a smile is comforting. To know that they are written in identical (or close to it) print on every car on the road... wow.  I felt connected to everyone through those words. I know this probably sounds silly but it's how I felt. Deal.

Story Time with Mindy

Story #1: Kelsey and I decided to visit this little Thai restaurant down the street called "East Wind." Upon entering we were overwhelmed by the cute atmosphere. Though this story is not about the establishment particularly, it would not hurt for me to recommend this place with the greatest of affability and admiration. I look forward to my return there. Continuing the story. I dyed my hair dark. (See The Look for further explanation.) During the course of the dinner our waitress stopped by our table many times to question me. First time: "Are you an actress?" Her thick accent made it difficult to understand, but after realization hit, I answered negatively. She said I looked like a famous actress from her country. Second visit: "Are you have Asian, half American? You look so much like the famous actress." Again, my response was negative. I don't think she really believed me because her Third Question: "Can I take a picture of you?" In which, she proceeded to take out her phone and get my picture. Fourth and final stop: (showing me the picture) "Is this okay?" Finally, I got to answer affirmatively.

Story #2: Kelsey and I were getting the oil changed in lovely Betty, and whilst we awaited this completion we proceeded to walk to the famed Peet's Coffee and Tea Leaf to get their delicious iced coffee and ice cubes. In passing we found Narnia.

I pause for dramatic effect.

Now don't be alarmed, Narnia is not, in fact, on Washington Blvd in Marina Del Rey. But there is a portal. We found it. See.

Story #3: Breakfast at Tiffany's party. My fake name was Jacqueline Shaw. Don't ask me 

why. I found a kitty named Frank and a dog named Bacon - though I called him Largehuahua, as he was the most ginormous of Chihuahuas I have ever seen. I discussed favorite ruling families with Robert Compton (fake name) - his is Alexander the Great and his father Pippin, mine is Tsar Nicolas II and his family of Romanovs. I spoke in a British accent half the time and a southern accent the other half. Again, don't ask me why. All in all a successful night of dressing up, dancing, and chatting.

Los Angeles

Not sure what it is about the city - I don't go there that often, I hate traffic, and I value clean air - but every time I get a view similar to this one...

... (granted, this angle is from up in the sky and that orange moon probably happens once every 5 years, but driving along the 10 at night, you get a similar "looking north across the city" view, anyways, to get to my point), I love this city.

I find myself smiling whenever I see it's skyline (I also do this for Seattle) and I'm not sure why that is. I like the idea of so many people being in my eyesight, living their lives - maybe dancing, maybe crying - but living. And I find myself astounded at the fact that I will never meet them or know anything about their lives.

It goes further than that though. I find myself thinking about the dichotomy of the city. There is such hope and despair wrapped up in this specific city. Some wanting their big break, others just looking for a little bit of help. I'm not saying these aren't elsewhere - they are, because they belong to life. But Los Angeles has such stark contrasts. While making me smile, I feel both of those in me. I feel happiness and sadness at the same time.

Maybe that's why I like viewing the city from my safe place on the 10. I'm outside of this. Not to say that I'm outside of life's hope and despair, but I have a hope that is greater than this earth, so in a way, I am. 

When I see this city, and I "see" all those lives before me... it makes me want to dance. And it makes me want to cry. But mostly, it makes me want to live.

This is What I Think About Sometimes

So you know when a boy is a boy and he tries to show off for you? Like say, he's riding on his bike and casually jumps as many curbs as he can. 

Do you ever secretly hope his front tire catches the top of the curb and he falls on his face?

And then it actually happens and you feel bad because you think you caused it?

This didn't happen recently or anything, I was just thinking about it. 

Oh the Joys of Technology!

Yesterday I became the proud owner of a Canon camera... again. I bought one 4 years ago before I went off to college, and I thought now, before I leave for Korea, would be another one of those pivotal times when a new camera is necessary to memory-making. Upon purchase of said camera Kels and I proceeded to document the day. It was date-day, well, more like run-errands-but-just-be-the-two-of-us-day. So I will now bring you the Mundane but Awesome Chronicles of the First Day of the Rest of Summer Complete with Pictures.

First of course was the wonderful, but expensive trip to Best Buy

Then we came to Panda and Ralphs for a little food and a little Potty Break (you'd think we would've skipped the Ralphs bathroom and just used the one in Panda... no clue what we were thinking really.) I'm not going to post the pictures of their signs as that would get to be utterly ridiculous and would make this blog ginormous. 

Here is us in the beloved Betty with the top down!

So I'm going to post a video now.. this is one that I think sums up my knowledge of cameras. No more preface, just enjoy.

Okay, I don't think I'm going to post all the pictures or chronicle all the events from yesterday, but we did end up going to an awesome thrift store where I bought Valentino boots for $10, went for a 2 mile longboard adventure, and ate at Islands Restaurant. All in all a pretty successful day - even more so because I have pictures to remember it by now!

RUBIKS SOLVED

Epic moment. 

2:54 am Tuesday morning.

Rubiks Cube solved.

There are no words to express my joy.

Did I mention change??

No I'm not that conceited.. I just thought it would be super fun to do a video instead of just one picture. And yes, it is done with that little camera built into my Mac. You know you love it.

Anyways. I spoke in my last blog about my bangs. And I told Canis that when I got my new haircut I would post pictures. Well, I got my haircut about a week and a half ago, but I just now finished cutting my own bangs to what I like. I mean, Tree (my hairstylist, of course) cut them the way I asked her too, but then Kels and Kate said that they weren't short enough, not enough of a change. And you know me - gots to have that change. So I began by cutting the then-long-side-bangs, into shorter-side-bangs. I have now finished with fully-straight-across-bangs, as seen in slideshow.

Down to the Minute Update: Aaron Phillips - brother Phillips, AP - just told me that I could link my blog to my facebook, so that whenever I post a new blog it will automatically show up on my facebook wall. I was excited until I thought about this blog showing up there. I declined this application addition on the sole ridiculous-ness of this post. 

The Look

So I just spent the last hour or so (I'm rounding down, because if I really said two hours I would feel like a complete loser with no life, instead of only a semi-loser who sometimes has something to do) changing The Look of my blog. 

I know that you gasped with delight when you first saw it, no need to comment and tell me so, and that is precisely why I took this time out of my day to give it a makeover. I'm one of those people that likes change. In high school, I rearranged my room about once a month because I liked the different scenery. My hair has been red, blonde, nearly black, and dark brown. Not blue yet - I wish. I now have bangs. I haven't lived in the same place for more than 6 months in almost 4 years. When I move out in July, this last stay will have lasted 2 whole months. My favorite song usually lasts about two weeks - though its been Bridge Over Troubled Water for three now. Feel free to applaud.

Okay, enough about change. I'm wearing the same shirt I wore last night. Point for consistency.

What's the worst that could happen?

Kelsey left Tuesday morning to go home for a couple days so I have been alone on the sailboat during this time. Let me say that its not as fun by yourself. Explanation.

One night I climb into bed after the journey to the bathroom, about 100 feet away up the dock. It's like camping. Well, anyways, I close up shop - meaning I put the puzzle pieces that are our door together and close the hatch. I'm snug, I'm safe, and so, as I said, I climb into bed.

Laying there I realize the boat is shaking. Now it's not the gentle rocking back and forth of the tide, no. It is a 8.0 earthquake in my mind, so that something is dreadfully wrong. Suddenly I can almost see the 5 story apartment buildings to my right crumble to the ground, thereby falling into the harbor and causing a tidal wave that engulfs my little boat. Of course, the hatch is closed, the puzzle door secure, so I drown inside my home that I can't escape from. 

Okay, okay. So there was no earthquake and the apartment buildings are still standing and I am still alive. But I'm still lying there and can still feel the shaking. So I sit up and look around me. There's an orange light on our control panel flashing. As we have no engine and the battery is dead this light is rather alarming. It's not flashing regularly, but erratically and suspiciously. The shaking of the boat gets worse and I know there's a gasoline leak of some kind that gets ignited by an electric current running from the dock to the boat and I am engulfed in an explosion so big that it can be seen by people in downtown LA.

When this doesn't happen I get up to check out the light and decide to switch it off. The fridge stops working. It's our electricity coming from the dock plug. No battery or engine needed for it. I climb back into bed only to realize that it is neither the boat nor the ground that is shaking, but me. 

So, I survived the night. Barely. My imagination often gets the better of me. I'm a worst case scenario thinker. You'd think after 22 years of dealing with this I would be able to write off the stories as pure fiction in my head. I cannot. 

Well, that's it for scary stories with Mindy. Tune in next time. That is, if I don't get kidnapped by the nice-looking elderly couple out for a stroll on the boardwalk - I'm sure my imagination could make it happen.

RAS

RAS

Kelsey and Jeff and their pants

one day got lost in France.

It was right in the middle,

which is far from little.

So they both decided to dance.

Said Jeff to Kelsey "this rocks!

I can't believe this comes in a box.

Why don't we have a drink,

cause underwater the fish don't stink."

So drink they did while wearing socks.

Said Kelsey to Jeff "let us pause...

we must be here for a cause.

Let's run in the air

'til we make sure we're there.

RAS RAS RAS RAS RAS RAS RAS RAS."

In response: "What a wonderful plan" said he.

"Let's set all the captives free,

then go live on a boat

that don't run but floats,

and we'll never go out to sea."

So this plan they carried out not by chance

when they found they'd been stuck in France.

They broke all the laws,

(they could cause their Ras)

And all of it done without Lance. 

One day if you hear of a story,

that's neither gruesome, grimsome, nor gory,

but it puts you in a trance

beware the middle of France

And remember Kelsey and Jeff and their glory.

Poem inspired by, and dedicated to, none other than my Ras friends Kelsey and Jeff.

Finally Sailboat.

So my captain, Kelsey, just started a blog yesterday and will get upset if I don't tell you all that she was going to put pictures of the sailboat first...

...though I have been planning on doing it since we moved here, I just haven't because my camera is temperamental. That's beside the point, of course. So to keep tension down, here is an official statement: "I am copying Kelsey Le

e Phillips as I post the following pictures." 

(The statement "beside the point" is an interesting one indeed - I really like it. Think about it a little, swish it around. I have this picture of me physically standing next to a huge dot, and the dot is what is the real discussion, but I choose to remain beside it.)

And now for your viewing pleasure.

Hi-Flier

Sailboat

Summer 09

Marina Del Rey

Ze boat - ta da!! I know it's a little rough around the edges but I love it. 

Correspondence... Isn't it Lovely?

Here is the letter that I wrote to my friend Andrew (don't be confused, his name is Max too) as he left for Montreal yesterday to work on a film and I won't be seeing him for over a year. We have commenced emailing.

Max,

I'd assume that you arrived safely in Canada, but you know what happens when you assume.

You look dumb. 

So, I'm not assuming, I'm figuring you've arrive in Canada. I think figuring is okay to do. It's logical. It's strategic. It involves educated hypotheses rather than random guessing. 

My hypothesis is this, step 1, you texted me when you were in D.C. on your layover, or wherever it was that you had a layover, so flight one was successful. Step 2, you have not texted me since, which means that you're in a foreign country and you cannot, or Option B of Step 2, you're plane crashed on its way to the aforesaid foreign country and you are in heaven, in which case you could not send a text but it doesn't matter because, shoot, you're in heaven, or Option C of Step 2, your plane was hijacked midair by the undercover body guards of Zac Efron who is selling humans on the black market to pay for his expensive drub habit, to which he plummeted into after realizing that his girlfriend was soon to be stolen by some assistant director on her new movie, so, after hijacking enough planes and enough humans, he decided to sell this assistant director and eliminate the possibility of Vanessa Hudgens leaving him and the drug habit that was getting harder to coverup. In case of Option B I will cry at your funeral. In case of Option C, I will punch Zac Efron in the face. As Option B holds the stipulation that if you had in fact died, I would've, in some way, been notified, either by telephone, or by the Max-shaped absence in the universe, and as Option C is probably true but can hardly be proved as Efron refuses to offer a comment to this educated figuring investigation, I can intelligently proceed to Step 3, you made it safely to Canada. 

End proof.

Mindy

-----------------------------

Here is the letter I got in response. Again, for limited confusion, I am HeatherLo -- it's short for Lola.

Well HeatherLo,

       What if I was to tell you that all three options you posed were correct.  It started off with Option B coming true when a space skydiver (exactly what it sounds like) clipped the windshield of the cockpit.  Now you may think that was what caused the crash but it was only the first step.  The space skydiver cracked the windshield which eventually broke completely, causing a pressure imbalance that sucked everything out of the cockpit.  The pilots were strapped in so they were safe but the head pilot's drug stash (he was a mule for Zac Efron) got sucked out and he unstrapped himself and jumped after it.  The co-pilot, who was in love with the pilot jumped after him, figuring their love would save them...it didn't.  I epiclly rushed into the cockpit and grabbed the stick to save the day and we promptly crashed in under 4 seconds.

     So there I am in Heaven, partying (what else did you expect) and I meet this absolutely amazing guy.  Fun, smart, snazzy dresser; and we are having a good time and I ask his name...Zac Efron he said.  My jaw hit the floor. 2 things to mention here, 1, in Heaven you have such control of your body that when i say my jaw hit the floor, it actually streched and hit the floor and 2. the floor being made of solid Gold hurt like a bitch.  Anyway, I tell him I know who Zac efron is and he isn't him and he said that he WAS Zac Efron and that the guy I I know killed my friend Zac to assume his identity to keep up his drug habit.
   
    So I did what anybody else would do, I talked God into sending me back to Earth with super powers to hunt down this "Zac Efron" and to serve him with heavenly justice...the deadly kind.  I found him quickly with my new powers here in Montreal and with one punch I sent his face back to the stone age.  Literally.  That is one of my new powers.  So now I am just here in Montreal and figure heaven is the best but that party is never going to end so I will take my time here on earth and spend it with some good friends.

    But I am very glad to hear that you would 1. cry at my funeral, and 2. punch Efron in the face.

Andrew

-----------------------------

And that, my dear students, is a lesson in wit.

Korea!!

So as of last Friday afternoon, I am officially accepted to the Adventure Teaching program - meaning they would start to look for available positions in Korea for me to teach at. I decided that I was going to get as much done yesterday as I could on all the paperwork for the E-2 Visa and so ran around doing errands at Biola via Heidi's ID card. I now have a lime green folder full of those separate pieces, such as health statements and consulate checklists, and yesterday afternoon I felt rather productive.

Well, so last night Kels and I were heading to Jeff's birthday celebration and I get a call from an Unavailable number. 

"Hello?"

"Hi, this is Reuben from Adventure Teaching, is this Mindy?"

So I have an interview tomorrow night with Avalon schools. What?!?! It's actually happening. I'm going to Korea, and I'm going to be a teacher, and I'll be living overseas for a whole year. I'm so excited. 

Apparently this school organization is the same that Katie interviewed with and accepted, and two minutes after I got off the phone with Reuben he called Kelsey. Don't forget, we're in the same car. She has an interview with Avalon after my interview on Thursday night. So I guess the organization is looking to hire all four of us! This would be awesome because all of the schools are relatively close together, and they are a well-established program that is really considerate towards its foreign teachers. Paid flight, housing, 50% health, bonus... I'm really excited for my interview, and I can't wait to get further along with the visa process, i.e. getting a criminal record check and interviewing with the Korean consulate. Yeah!

A Story

Here's the beginning, I haven't posted the whole thing, as, for a short story, it's long. It was written based on the picture below.

Girl: (explaining to the camera) I packed my hatbox with my clothes, because, one, I have no hat, and two, I have no other luggage. (looking down at birdcage) Him? Thing is, I wasn't about to stay in that house a second longer, but before hitting the road I grabbed Cheeky. I couldn't just leave him there. I guess I make a pretty sight. When I said hitting the road, just then, I meant good old fashioned "my heels on the pebbled shoulder" walking with the power lines. Not many cars right now, I like that, don't you? Gives me time to think. Sure cars shouldn't usually mess that up, but right now, in this moment, I don't think I could handle a '92 Buick going 50 mph whipping my skirt around my head. Yes, I left the house, skirt, heels, and all.(laughs) I'm leaving home for good this time. Not that it was for bad any other time - you know, I've never understood that phrase "for good." I mean, if you take it literally, than you would think I was setting out to do something spectacular in this world. I'm going to go cure cancer, or open an orphanage, or something like that. No, I guess I'm leaving home for bad this time. Well, actually I don't know if I would go so far as to say that either. I'm leaving home for neutral - I'm freakin' Switzerland walking down this road. 

(car drives by - ironically, a '92 Buick, her skirt flies up)

Well, so much for that.

I guess you're wondering why I am leaving, for good, for bad, or whatever. Well, to tell you the truth, if you had to wear these sunglasses for my reasons, and still didn't get why I was leaving "home," then you should probably stop listening to my story right about now. We probably won't agree on much, you and me.

(sitting on the hatbox on the ground, a couple hours have passed)

No, I haven't given up. Is Switzerland still a country?(car pulls to a stop behind her, guy gets out)

Guy: You need a ride somewhere, miss?

Girl: (hasn't gotten up yet, still facing camera) Guess I won't have to though. (to Guy) If you don't mind birds then I'm going where you're going.

(Opens door throws hatbox in the back, sits down with cage in lap)

Girl: Where are you going, by the way?

Guy: Heading north a ways, up towards the border. Where are you heading?

Girl: Um, a little farther than that... more west too. Just drop me at the end of your line and I'll pick up another from there. 

Guy: What's taking you out a little farther and more west?

Girl: My grandma. And some big kid stole my bus money.

Guy: (pause) Well, that's really nice of you, she sick or something?

Girl: (long pause) Actually, I don't have a grandma. That was the first thing that popped into my head. I just don't know you, and, though you're giving me a ride, I'm pretty sure when you drop me off you still won't know enough about me to really care where the hell I'm going. So, as I see it, I'll call you guy, you can call me girl, and we'll both go our ways feeling better about ourselves. You for helping out a total stranger and earning brownie points with God, you know, that whole "when I was hungry, you fed me", and Me, well I'll be a little closer to where I want to be which is as far away from here as possible. (sarcastic celebration) Yah! We both win.

(Silence)

Guy: Hey Girl?

Girl: (slight laugh) Yeah, Guy?

Guy: What's with the bird?

Girl: (sigh) Since you seem so intent upon asking questions you won't mind if I lie do you?

Guy: Not if you make it interesting.

Girl: (looks at him in surprise) Didn't expect that. Here's the truth then. Before she died, because I did have one once, my grandma gave him to me. And I did visit her when she was sick.

Guy: No kidding. Well, there goes the sarcasm.

(silence)

Girl: Hey Guy?

Guy: Yeah Girl?

Girl: Put your seatbelt on. I'd hate for you to go breaking through the windshield if we get in an accident and ruin my get-away car. 

Guy: (as he's grabbing for his seatbelt) And it's back.

Long Beach Life

So this is for you Canis, my love. But I have to give the background on the story first, which, you already know. 

Two Sundays ago I drive home to Long Beach and proceed to park my car. Now, normally, I have no trouble parallel parking as that is the only subcategory of parking available on the tight streets of LB. Occasionally I have to try a second time. I do worse when people watch. It's a very particular thing this parallel park. 

Anyways, continue the joke. It's not really a joke at all, but I quote for Canis' benefit, as I have already told her this portion of the story and want to hold her attention. As I was saying. I pull up to this smaller than usual space and proceed to back ever so carefully in between these two cars. Pause. Another condition of my parking process -the window must be down. This enables my head to lean out and judge more objectively the park I am completing. 

Resume. Window down, head out, pulling into space. A guy from across the street starts walking towards me holding his hands about "yeah" far away from each other saying: "You have about this much room." And now I have a witness. If you were paying attention you will remember my parking ability tends to decline at this point. "You need help parking?"

I could allow him the benefit of thinking my bad park was due to his inability at helping, couldn't I? "Yeah, sure, thanks." I start pulling forward to begin Round Two, as I've noticed the curb is neither 6 or 12 inches from the curb. "I have to start over, I'm too far from the curb," meaning, now it's all on you buddy, this next park will represent your expertise at guiding my car. 

"I'm helping you cause that's my car behind you." Ouch. Not only was my pride at parking fatally wounded, not saying it was through the roof before, but in that moment all womankind shuddered at the clear jab at our ability to operate an automobile. 

For that, without waiting for help at all, I deftly pulled so quickly into the space that even James Bond would've been taken aback. Oh yes, ten points for women.

"Oh, um, well, I guess you're good."

"Yeah, thanks for your help." Ha.

He goes back to the bunch of people outside the house across the street, and I gather my belongings and head to my house down the street. 

Two days later, the next time I drive my car, I see a note tucked under my windshield wiper. A number. Followed by "Guy who tried to help you park". Now, I'm all for meeting new people, so of course I give him a call a couple of days later. 

"Hi, I got a note on my car..."

"No way! I can't believe you  called! We were taking bets of whether you would, or my creeper mustache scared you away."

Okay, one, it was way too dark to get a real idea of what Jaret (the guy) looked like, let alone to ascertain that on his face was, in fact, a creeper mustache. Two, he never really got that close to the car as, which I'm now realizing, he probably assumed from my gender that I could very easily run him over. And three, I was parking. If my attention was focused anywhere it was most definitely not focused on the distracting presence of the group of people across the street staring and judging my park job. 

Anyways, this story seems much longer than it's worth probably, but hopefully I've made it interesting enough for you to still be reading. 

My roommate Priscilla and I met up with Jaret and his band mates, they are in a folk band, the next night and it was a rather interesting time. As my story has continued this long I better tie it up quickly. Canis, I'm sorry, but it was way too much fun to talk about how we met, then the night we actually hung out. Here goes the more interesting of points regarding the night.

1. They have a huge T-Rex in their front window. His name is Adam.

2. Not to get confused with the dinosaur, two members of the band are called Adam. 

3. It is still debatable of whether Brett can actually smile, though it is safe to say that Priscilla can run way faster then him, and everybody at the Pike knows he's not very coordinated, due to his face plant right outside the door.

4. Matt, after losing the bet of whether I would call, had to run down the street in his boxers, which he proceeded to do, right past two cop cars with their lights going.

5. Not surprising to the rest of us, Brett was the only one to get pulled over after he turned to follow after Matt - Brett's a redhead. Apparently there is some prejudice. I am excluded from this as I am not natural. LB police can tell this from afar.

6. The Penny Saver is an excellent means to starting a bonfire.

7. Balloon animals, on the other hand, are not.

8. But balloon animals are a means of making an amazing bonfire with music even better.

Okay, I think that's the end. I've rambled on quite long enough, and I'm not even sure if anyone is still reading. Hope you enjoyed a little slice of Long Beach Life.

Updates... boring, sorry

I apologize to all my devoted readers for my lack of posts in the last month. Actually a month ago today was my last. Please accept my deepest apologies. I will now update you with my life as I know you are all wondering worriedly if I'm even alive. 

As of right now -

Favorite song: Beggar's Prayer - Emiliana Torrini

Color I'm currently wearing: Blue, and blue. Light and Dark, striped pjs. Oh yeah.

Temporary job: Balloon artist, not so temporary as its what I'll be doing this whole summer

Last song I wrote: Indecision, finished yesterday

Favorite TV show: Castle

Latest crazy story: A guy helped me park one night, next time I go out to my car I have a note on it with his number, called him, Priscilla and I hung out with him and his friends last night. They have a huge T-rex in their front window with a green light for effect.

Last thing I cooked: Pie-dough cookies last night

Summer plans: Living on a sailboat with Kelsey up in the Venice Beach area

Book I'm reading: New Moon, second in the Twilight series

Time I slept to this morning: Ten

Band I can't stop listening to: Kings of Leon

Last movie theater movie I watched: 17 Again - pretty funny

Korea application stage: interview next Friday at 11!!

Color of my hair: Still red

Plans for today: Signing lease for the boat, bonfire for Ben's birthday, yeah!

Okay, okay. I know you wanted to know all of that. I want to write more, but I'm going to finish my cup of Peppermint Tea and take a shower. Sorry. Later though.

They Write the Songs

So I've done this a couple times now. I get a song stuck in my head, for instance, the one that is there right now "Asking for Flowers" by Kathleen Edwards, and then the tune is there no matter how much I try to make up my own. So when I go to write a new song, I can get the lyrics fine, but they're to the tune of that one song I can't seem to get out of my head. And no matter what tune I try to come up with, the copied one always sounds better. Makes sense really, I mean, that song is the one that got recorded and sold at Starbucks. Ha! Well, here's my words anyways.

The weaving traffic on the highway

looks like a circus act

And the lights up in the distance

are the things keeping me on track

Driving towards an answer

I've needed for quite a while

now I can't stop this feeling

that I'm going out in style

You've made me feel like this too long

and I won't go home til it's done

The road is burned behind me now

Well, this final goodbye

is the ending to a reckless day

Won't be driving your road

Mr. Half Hour Away

The southbound lanes are wider

leading me away from you

And I won't count the miles

of road because we are through

I can see the sunshine

burning the clouds in the sky

All the signs are pointing to

my road, my journey, my life

Now all I need is my own tune - sweet. Coming right up.

In Honor of St. Patty's

For Ballydowse and Ireland ... charge!

Bruce

(titled after the dog I almost got but then couldn't, experience which inspired this poem/song)

Believe me, you'd have wanted him too :)

I'll pose this thought to you

reply perhaps you'll do

why is growing up 

all broken up

and I'm right there with it too?

Walking down the street you'd see

I talk and dress all old

but growing up

is all broken up

and there's more to it I'm told.

My nails aren't done just painted on

and I can't stand the news

I guess this grown-up thing is more

than just some high-heeled shoes.

I eat salad and run alone

my decisions are my own

yet growing up 

is so broken up

And I'm always calling home.

They've all seemed to have made

it through this crazy game

of growing up

though broken up

Wish I could find the way.

Clark No More.

Now Parisi. Canis (to whom others might refer to as Candice, but I have never and will never pronounce her full name as a way of claiming that special bond of friendship which comes with the bestowal of nicknames) is now Canis Parisi, no more Canis Clark. 

It all happened at approximately 4:40 pm this last Saturday, March the 7th. The venue was decorated, the guests were seated, and she walked down the aisle to her now-husband Dominic Parisi.

Okay, enough of that. So I would be lying if I was to say that I'm not going to miss being her roommate. Although we have lived through separation before, this is definitely more permanent, with no coming semester of late-night procrastination and mac 'n cheese with sausage dinners. Neither of us regret the lack of semester, of course, we are both ecstatic beyond anything that we are done with school - but here she goes and gets married and just changes everything. Not to be dramatic or anything.

I don't want you to get me wrong - I am so extremely happy for the two of them. They're married - they have a house - (though they don't want any for a while) I want them to have kids!! - yeah - excited. Got it? But there's like this Canis-shaped hole, a sort of loss if you will. 

Well, here's just to show you how happy and beautiful and amazing she looked. Gorgeous. I lurve her. 

For those of you who don't know, "Lurve" is what you say when Love just doesn't quite cut it. Of course, the Southern accent you say it in only adds all the more emphasis. Practice it sometime - it's fun. You'll find it fits when nothing else will. Kind of like a Canis in a Canis-shaped hole. 

Congratulations my friend!

Bodysnatchers

I found this on someone else's blog - I deleted a couple of them that were just dumb, but I thought the rest were really fun!

RULES:

1. Put your iTunes, Windows Media, etc. on shuffle.

2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.

3. You must write that song name down no matter how silly it sounds.

(4. I added partial lyrics just for fun!)

IF SOMEONE SAYS 'ARE YOU OKAY,' YOU SAY:

"Live to Tell"

Geoff Moore and the Distance

Take my life and let it be

a reflection of you for the whole world to see

the God, who is alive and well

I will live to tell

HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOURSELF:

"Once Upon a December"

Anastasia Soundtrack

Dancing bears, painted wings

things I almost remember

And a song someone sings

Once upon a December

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL:

"Mister Cellophane" - oh, that's sad

Chicago Soundtrack

If someone stood up in a crowd

and raised his voice way out loud

And waved his arm

And shook his leg

You'd notice him

HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY:

"Free Fallin" - so perfect!

Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers

And I'm free, free fallin'

Yeah I'm free, free fallin'

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE:

"Someday You Will be Loved"

Death Cab for Cutie

You may feel alone when you're falling asleep

and everytime tears roll down your cheeks

But I know your heart belongs to someone you've yet to meet

Someday you will be loved

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU:

"Now We Are Free" - nice

Gladiator Soundtrack

(Don't understand any of it - it's in Hebrew)

Anol Shalom

Anol sheh lay konnud de ne um

Flavum

Nom de leesh

Ham de nam um das...

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN:

"Hanging by a Moment"

Lifehouse

Desperate for changing

starving for truth

I'm closer to where I started

Chasing after you

WHAT IS 2+2?

"Live Like You Were Dying"

Tim McGraw

I loved deeper and I spoke sweeter

And I gave forgiveness I'd been denying

and he said someday I hope you get the chance

To live like you were dying

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND:

"Gotta Be Somebody"

Nickelback

'Cause nobody wants to go it on their own

and everyone wants to know their not alone

There's somebody else that feels the same somewhere

There's gotta be somebody for me out there

WHAT'S YOUR MOTTO:

"In the Waiting Line"

Zero 7

Do you believe in what you see

motionless wheel, nothing is real

Wasting my time, in the waiting line

Do you believe, in what you see

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING:

"The Point of No Return" - HAHAHAHA!!!!!

Phantom of the Opera Soundtrack

(so many perfect lines but I'll just put the last part down)

Past the point of no return, the final threshold

the bridge is crossed, so stand and watch it burn

We've passed the point of no return

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL:

"Meet Virginia"

Train

Well she wants to live her life

Then she thinks about her life

Pulls her hair back as she screams

"I don't really want to live this life"

WHAT DO YOU WANT RIGHT NOW:

"Let it Snow! Let it Snow! Let it Snow!"

Dean Martin

The fire is slowly dying

and my dear we're still goodbying

But as long as you love me so

Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE:

"The Mob"

Gladiator Soundtrack

(There are no words - ha!)

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR:

"Reggae Got Soul"

Toots and the Maytals

Reggae got soul

got so much soul

Listen to the beat

move your dancing feet

Rock your bodyline

Move in time

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET:

"Grease (remix)"

Grease

I got chills, they're multiplyin'

and I'm losing control

'Cause the power, you're supplyin'

it's electrifyin'

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP:

"The Show"

Sanctus Real

And I'd give anything to hear the sound of the spirit

Coming down

And the praises they sang

WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS:

"Bodysnatchers"

Radiohead

I've no idea what I am talking about

I'm trapped in this body and can't get out

The Island

This one might be a stretch, but, after repainting it several times my roommate exclaimed that it looked like a submerged island. I still don't know if I see it, but I liked the idea of every other picture I'd tried being buried under layers of paint. So, I wrote a poem about it, to make it make sense.

Her island covers all her dreams

Lying there half-sunk in seas

Sandy shores with white-capped waves

Nothing in sight for days and days.

Yet deep below there lies a girl

The reddest hair in all the world

Pale-white face with a stubborn jaw

Deep blue eyes I couldn't draw.

Then a pink flamingo underneath

The islands' waters now they keep

It's life, it's flight, it's painted wings

All kept still by painted seas.

Beyond that an abstract thought

The orange, the purple lines they fought

An idea of chaos somehow designed

by an intricacy of my mind.

And at the bottom lies four trees

Gnarled branches bereft of leaves

The piano stands upon the grass

Soul-bared melody unmasked.

Upon all these my island sits

With nothing left but what it is

A wispy shore, sinking deep

With all my dreams drowned beneath.

Then Once to Speak

(same Stream of Consciousness that brought you the title of this blog)

Her feet are dancing as her arms are lifted

in time with the music she hears

Songs sung as she moves to the tune that she plays

the rhythm of her falling tears.

I try to imagine what she sees with closed eyes

shut so tightly to keep them in

those hopes and those fears shut up in her heart

a full day she can't help but relive.

As barefoot she stands in the mud of the road

seeming ready to run and stand still

racing with all the thoughts moving through

her mind, her body, her will.

Her stretched fingers curling around the thin air

as her arms they possess all the strength

to lift her right off of those bare feet in the mud

no emotion seems ever to stay.

The tears that I mentioned, those tears full of music

streaking patterns of black down her cheeks

the notes being played by the sun on her face

causes me then once to speak.

"Why this joy and this sadness together,

I'm not sure what's making you cry.

The tears, and the smile, must come from some reason?"

I stop and await her reply.

Turning and turning she heeds not my question

though laughing she pauses to say,

"All of these days, yet all that we waste,

Have you lived enough for today?"