For All My Friends Who Think I'm the Clumsy One

Story 1:

My sister and her friend Shanley were running down an alleyway. Why, you ask? Why not, was their response. I'm not entirely sure of all the particulars in the case but this I do know: Bethany's shoes were slightly loose on her feet.

Imagine, if you will, my sister tripping and diving forward onto the gravelly pavement of the alleyway corridor. I have. Several times. 

She is alive, we can all rejoice, but her arm is a little worse for wear. 

Story 2:

My dad plays tennis; is rather skilled actually. In other words, I will never win a match against him until he is in a wheelchair - and maybe not even then. He passes on his knowledge by giving lessons and was doing one day, about a couple months ago.

Picture a shopping cart full of tennis balls, let's say two hundred. Now picture it tipping over an unseen curb, which also tripped up my dad, and trapping him between its wiry frame and the chain-linked fence behind him. 

Oh how the scattered tennis balls must've rejoiced in their freedom and laughed at the man who clumsily bestowed it.

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As a sidenote, I don't offer these little anecdotes as a way of making fun, rather, they are a very serious endeavor to present my own sometimes-confused equilibrium in their proper familial light.

Thoughts from the Dentist's Chair

So I'm sitting there getting my teeth cleaned (which I might add, is NOT on my Happy List) and my mind wandered. Do follow.


"I wonder if dental assistants take a specific course on Yes or No Questions? Because I couldn't very well give descriptive answers with both their hands in my mouth."

"Stop torturing that little boy!!! He's crying for a reason!!!!"

After overhearing that aforesaid 'little boy' got to pick a prize from the treasure chest: "I wonder if I get one too?"

"I wonder what the healthcare system is like in England, maybe it doesn't cover dental, and that's why they never go."

"All the rebellious humans from The Host probably will have horrible teeth after living in the caves for so long. Oh no, that's right, they have access to all the Healers' medicines now that they have Wanda and Sunny with them." (This will be harder for some to follow)

"If I was to choose between perfect eyesight and never having to go to the dentist again I would choose... well, shoot... both."

"I wonder if she realizes I'm avoiding eye contact."

"I hope they'll tell me if I have spatters of teeth-cleaning paste all over my face before I walk out of here."

"I think she's getting really annoyed when I breathe and fog up her little mirror."


Oh, the rabbit trails of my brain conversations.