Life Beyond the Gray

I'm smoothing out on every side
this shirtsleeve where my heart resides
gonna need it for today

Packing up and shipping out
the suitcase stuffed with all that doubt
don't need it anyway

What of control and what of before
the fights and designs
this one heart's looking for more
Lying isn't dying for a cause
anymore than crying ever was.

There lies a road, there goes a path
a way that's lined with aftermath
what use is it to wait

I'll leave behind the smallest me
the one who only falls in me
a life beyond the gray.

(My attempts at putting music to these lyrics have been unsuccessful to this point - maybe someday)

The Kin: Rise and Fall

[This is the day we come to say
All of the pain has come and gone away

This is the ONE WING DOVE
Today we come TOGETHER]
- The Kin

Last night Heidi, Joel and I went to the Roxy Theater in Hollywood to see The Kin, a great band - two brothers from Australia whose harmony, lyrics and sound are incredible.

Isaac is on the left and Thorry on the right in this picture. After their set we got to talk to them for a little bit about their music. Really nice guys.

It was so much fun to just stand right in the front, sing along, dance, and not even care about anything; just listen and enjoy. It was an experience of beauty, really. The theme of hope runs throughout several songs, and my favorite is New Day (though it is hard to pick between that and Together, and really all the other ones as well) in which there is an amazing harmony on the repeated line "War is over..."

At one point they came down off the stage and asked everyone to make a tight circle around them, which we all did, then they sang "Abraham", a song about the war between the sons of Abraham. Well, when Heidi was singing along, Isaac, as he was standing in front of us, turned around and encouraged her to sing louder... nice. So she did. You can actually see it in the video posted below.



To check them out got to www.thekin.com or their myspace at www.myspace.com/thekin

Hope you enjoy their music as much as I do!

Walking Barefoot

(So this is the "This I Believe" project I ended up doing)

I know that sometimes shoes must cover my feet
There's sometimes someone the world wants me to be.
For example: a party and I must put on heels;
Don't get me wrong I love them, but it’s just not as real
As walking barefoot across the grass or the sand,
And I know that myself is exactly who I am.
No cover, no limit, no facade and no front
No "yes world" and "no world" - no "I'll be who you want."

When I go to the gym, I'm healthy, I wear tennies.
When I go to my job, I wear heels, I save pennies.
When I'm a daughter, I wear what fits the occasion.
When I'm a sister I borrow and lend with patience.
Yet barefoot I am me, I can stretch and let loose,
In that moment no persona or form I must choose.
It is in these moments that I believe
I can open my mind and my heart is set free.

Yes, it's true that walking barefoot through life
I'll cross different paths, some of joy some of strife.
The joy feels like carpet deep and so soft
And the strife feels like sharp gravel or rock.
Yet I yearn and I seek to walk only straight
To not veer from the course God's called me to take.
And walking straight I want to feel all that I may,
Of the hurt and the pain and the joy and the gain,
With no regret in those moments that I've walked my own way.

My bare feet may be dirty they may be scrubbed clean
But they're there to tell part of the story of me;
Of where I've been of what I've been through,
Of all that I've done and have still yet to do.
No shoe will cover that, if I can help it.
If I walk through it I want to have felt it.

I guess what I'm saying, the only way it can be put
Is that “I believe in walking through life barefoot."

Dinner Conversation

Mr. Manning told me that there is someone special out there for me, and I will meet him soon.... So, I'm excited.

This I Believe

I'm taking an American Literature class this semester and Dr. Van Zandt is one of those teachers that motivates you to really do your best. She has actually been added to my list of teachers that encourage my love for writing and literature. This week we have a project entitled "This I Believe". We can choose any form of project - paper, picture, song, dance - to present something we truly believe in. One of hers is joy, she believes in doing the things that bring her joy. For instance, her job. She loves teaching and talking about books and interacting with her students.

I have a lot of things I believe in. I, also, believe in joy. I don't think I could ever do something with my life that I don't get joy from and bring joy to others. That's why I love writing, it's not just for me. Here's a few more.

I believe in life. I believe that every child has the right to it.
I believe in laughter. It heals where nothing else can.
I believe in quilts. They are very comforting.
I believe in rain. That sometimes we just need to go out and stand in it.
I believe in smiling. You can make anyone's day better by just smiling at them.

There are a lot of things I believe in. It's funny too. There are so many things that we think we need, or can't live without. But what really brings us joy and hope are those things that we can't buy. I know this seems like an old concept and, of course, it's not the first time I've realized it, but there are moments where it really hits me. Like when looking at my Happy List (which, by the way, I will update soon). The majority of things on there are those simple things that most of us take for granted. Myself included. I love getting caught off guard by this realization. I believe in those moments where I truly am content. Like now. Papers, graduation concerns, relationships - all of it matters, of course, but stressing out about it won't make it better... or easier.

I believe in trust. That it is inseparably linked to hope and patience.

I believe in stream of consciousness, which this blog definitely possesses.

Where my thoughts go, there I write
to speak those words that have taken flight.

Firefly Memories

Out to the field you and I went walking one night
it was cold yet we both wore coats
There weren't any stars but somehow it seemed right
and neither of us spoke.

As we came to its edge we kneeled in the grass
the dampness seeping through our jeans
but we didn't care as our gaze was held fast
to the firefly memories.

You point out the first one, its bright and fast
I watch my first love dart and play
it is brighter than the rest but doesn't last
and flits and flies away.

I spot the next and its flying steady
our friendship through the years
I grab your hand and you let me
and you don't even mind the tears.

The next we both see together, two alike
side by side we watch them awhile
together they make the brightest light
the realization makes us smile.

Walking back from the field hand in hand
we wouldn't give up on our dreams
the ones that we've had the ones that still stand
as twirling firefly memories.

Freedom!

So, this post is directly a result of my friend Melissa's post.

I want to go back to Scotland. I want to be cold yet warm in layers of clothes. I want to walk the road from the train to the William Wallace Monument. I want to swim in Loch Ness (which I didn't have the guts to last year in October). I want to see green hills. Lots of them. I want fall with orange and gold and yellow and red leaves. I want to spend hours and hours in the used book store in Inverness.

Here's a little of what I'm missing.




















"What would the world be, once bereft of wet and wildness?
Let them be left, O let them be left, wildness and wet;
Long live the weeds and the wilderness yet."
Gerard Manley Hopkins