The 3 times I've felt like Myself on this Trip (so far)

3. Conversations with Two New Friends: There's a bare wooden Dance Floor. Waiting. Music playing. Waiting. For me? Yes. He's small enough so I don't feel intimidated, but big enough for me to get lost in the erratic movements that I call dancing across his broad shoulders. Dancing. Mmm. I love the freedom that comes with rhythm and sound and my body creating its own unique conversation with it. I also love dancing around fires. Which I proceeded to do after I felt that my friendship with Dance Floor was solidified by a long and detailed introductory conversation. Next talk, with Fire. What a warm presence he has. On my face at some points, on my back at others. Always intruding, in a pleasant way of course, on my continuous movements round and round, through the silky smooth mounds of sand under my feet and between each toe.

New Realization, though somehow FAMILIAR: I love to dance. ALOT.


2. For five mornings in a row I woke up, to the early warmth of that sweet little island off the coast of Cambodia. I didn't put shoes on and I walked out the door of the bungalow that faced the quiet surf of the crystal blue water. Walking along the path, feeling every crack in the sidewalk and at one point the shell of a snail (sorry, little buddy, didn't see you). Sitting at a table by myself, though there was room enough for 4. I was up earlier, selfishly inhaling all the good, clean, bright, cheery air of the day. Reading quiet words of wisdom, letting the familiar thoughts flow over me and work their way into the tendrils of my twisting and changing spirituality. Eating breakfast, of delicious tomatoes and eggs, accompanied by a small loaf of bread, with a cup of sweet Vietnamese coffee to wash it down. Welcoming in the day. With a sigh and a smile.

New Realization, and it's very REFRESHING : I love waking up early.


1. Since that fateful night in Nha Trang, when, among other things, my iPod was lost to the swirling mist of that grayish beach city, I've been without the gentle ebb and flow of the sound tracks of my life. I love music. But more than I love music, I love bridges. And more than I love bridges, though only slightly, I love trains. So, here I am, sitting on a train watching the picture show of the German countryside slide across the windowpanes of my enraptured eyes, listening to the beats of my newmagictouchsoundtrack-Pod, and feeling most like Myself. More than I have on this entire trip. To this point. But I'm not sure how much better it can get than this. I'm on a train. Crossing and watching bridges span green pasture to green pasture. Listening to beautiful people put beautiful feelings and thoughts to beautiful beats and rhythms. Oh God, I just passed over a cemetery. I love cemeteries. To make it even better, it's fall. Things aren't dying, oh no. They are reaching the glorious season of maturity. They show it in the way they no longer care what traditional color they must wear or not wear to fit in with everyone else. They don any radiance they choose, and live happily in the knowledge that they have loved life. I hope I live my life like these fall trees. Rooted (don't even get me started on roots). Growing. Changing. Renewing. Colorful. Radiant. Myself.

New Realization, THAT'S A LIE... it's not new at all: I love trains, and bridges, and music, and cemeteries, and fall, and roots, and trees. Now you may ask, "Mindy, why don't you just say you love everything?" and I would tell you that "these are very specific things I love, for very specific reasons, hmmm, maybe I'll do a blog series about them... but I don't love everything."

Oh wait, and tomato soup, but, alas, there was none to be had on the train. Next time.

So, Where Are You From?

That question is one of the first asked when you meet people traveling.

I was realizing, during one of these conversations today, that if, in any way, shape or form, I had a connection to that area I would always ask more specific questions. Like "are you from the city of London, or somewhere nearby?" Or "what part of California?" Or even, "do you know Bundang?"

I wondered to myself, if I was making these connections for my sake or theirs.

Then I thought, when someone KNOWS where Whidbey Island is, or has taught English in Korea, or lives in Brea with their family, I get excited. There's a sense of, "Hey, you know what I'm talking about" that is very comforting when you're a gazillion miles from home, exhausted from dodging motorbikes and crawling through war tunnels all day.

Because no matter how incredibly big the world seems, especially when you're out in it, it's always nice to know that other people love talking about home as much as you do.

Korea... What You Mean to Me

Three more days.

The Blessing of Wilderness

So much to say. But this is what I've got.

Saying Goodbye

There are those faces I will miss.
Of course, there are those I won't.

But Mini, Alice, and Jessica. I will.
Mini is really smart, always coming up with new ways of saying the same old things, which is impressive considering how redundant most of the class can be.
Alice and I laugh together. A lot. I had her for a reading class as well, and she and I would share books, and make jokes. Sometimes mine would go over her head, and sometimes hers would go over mine. I don't know much Korean. Yes sir, Chee-sol, ma-di-ga-sol. Still not sure what that means.
Jessica is so determined. And beautiful. They all are.


Jeff. Won-young. Jeff. Well, Jeff and I have had some problems. Andy was always great. And Alex, he had a slight lisp. It was awesome.

One year complete. It's hard to believe, but great to look back on. It was a great story.

Gap

So, first off, sorry.

I realize I have never written anything pertaining to my future plans after I wrote about decision-making.

And yes, I have made a decision.

I'm packing up my whole life and love and leaving Korea. Please don't ask me why. I know why. But it doesn't make any sense to me right now because I "couldn't wait to get going, but wasn't quite ready to leave".

Looking at what is ahead, I can tell you that I'm excited for the plans that have been made.

First stop: VietnamNow I normally don't like using pictures that I haven't taken, but I couldn't resist. This is Phu Quoc Island, off the coast of Cambodia, but still a part of Vietnam. This is our last stop on our month trek around the southern coast of the country. I'm traveling with Shmeepants and Carry.

Next, onto Bangkok. For the weekend. I've noticed that I have several of these "weekend" trips, as our trip was orchestrated around cheap air tickets, Bangkok to Berlin being one of them. But why not spend more than an hour there?

From there, like I said, it's onto Berlin. Carry has some friends that we'll meet up with, and I'm excited to see Germany, as I missed it on my last time traveling. Train down to Munich, and stay there for a couple days before, tentatively, heading to Switzerland to see an old friend.

Now the whole trip started as a haphazard plan to get to Croatia and Montenegro because Carry's mom owns a kayaking business in the former, and a house in the latter. What?!? I know, right. Call me silly, but I've always wanted to go to Montenegro because, every time I studied WWI, that's the country that I liked the name of most. See, one of those silly, rather whimsical reasons of mine. Kind of like my love of Latvia over Estonia or Lithuania.

Anyways, we'll spend the next three or four weeks hanging out around there. Making trips to northern Croatia, Albania, Serbia, and Kosovo. Unless we do that on the way out. Which takes us to Thessaloniki. The trip gets kind of fuzzy at this point because we don't necessarily have to plan all of it right now since we will have plenty of time in Croatia to do this planning.

So, either fly from Thessaloniki to London, or take a train from there over to Istanbul for a few days (depending on time) and then fly to London. Either way I have to be in London by the 19th.

That way, I'll have "a weekend" in London, a city that I love, before my flight home to Seattle on the 22nd of November.

Whew. Deep breath.

Just in time for Thanksgiving. Huge smile.

A Taste of This Life

My heart. Rooted so deeply in this life.

Howard Shore plays on repeat as I recall this day.

A hike through the woods.
Going slow, of course. I was still concussed.
Happened upon this open space.
Kind of what Korea was. An open space.
We all became ourselves.
Whit kicked a ball around, took a nap on the bench, then talked to Tay.
Tay played with Cha's hair then listened to Whit.
Kel soaked in everyone's presence, then went for a walk.
Cha planted herself firmly on the ground. And read.
Katie and I took over the bench. Took naps, then talked about God.
We all breathed deeply.
It was a good day.
Korea has been a great day.

"It's Up to Joe"

So as many of you know, I've been struggling with a pretty big decision. I've been living in Korea for over 10 months now, which is probably the longest I've lived in one location in a long time. It feels good to have that consistency. I've lived here. I've grown here.

But now I'm coming to that part of the story where I must choose something. I must choose to stay, or choose to go. This decision is hard. I have people I love and care about in either choice. I've been struggling for the last two months with this knowledge. And of course I know that my decision cannot be made solely on people. I can't stay in Korea for people. And I can't go back for people. That can be a huge factor, but not the sole factor - people can also make the choice to stay or leave.

So I came to God one night. Asked Him for an answer. "God, just reveal your will. Whatever you want me to do, wherever you want me to go. Just tell me." And then I waited. And kept waiting. And wondered why He wasn't answering. I would feel absolute certainty for one direction for about 5 minutes, and then everything would change and I'd be completely sure in the other direction. It was painful. And no fun at all.

I'm usually indecisive and generally stay as far away from decisions as I can get. But big things like this - once I make a decision, that's pretty much it. Done deal. Except for now. And all of a sudden I wasn't making a decision about what I was doing in 2 months, rather, I was hinging my whole life's course on the step I took now. Or in other words, I started exaggerating everything in my mind. What was I supposed to do with my life? Where did God want me to do it?

Amidst all of the confusion, anxiety and frustration that this brought, He answered. Clear and simple. But unlike I had expected, as God usually answers.

"My purpose for your life, Mindy, is not a direction. It's you. You following me. Do you think that I am only found at the end of one pathway? That if you walk down a road right now you won't find me there? No. You are seeking me with all your heart. So you will find me, wherever that is. Whichever way you choose to go, I'm going to bless you. Stop being afraid you're going to make the wrong choice. It doesn't exist. You wanted me to tell you what to do? I am - choose."

There's so much freedom in that. To know that my God trusts me.

As for the title of this blog - random movie quote, because I couldn't write a completely serious post.