Procrastination and Vampires

I'm apologize for my lapse in posting - I have been so busy that it's been something I've been meaning to do but haven't. Busy? You ask. So you're not now?

Contrary to how my first sentence sounds, no, I mean, yes, I mean, I'm still busy. But now it's progressed to procrastination and so unending amounts of time have been made available for posting, figuring out new ways to put on eye shadow, picking out an outfit for school tomorrow, staring at the wall, and so on and so forth. It's quite incredible what can be done in that time between time of having everything and nothing to do. "Everything" being literal and "nothing" being metaphysical.

I've had loads of metaphysical time over the last weekend in which I've gotten to read the first two books in the Twilight series. Groan. I know, I know. Though they appeal to girls between the ages of 10 and 16 there has to be something to say for a novel that can capture the attention of college graduates and beyond, for its not just myself that has been caught reading them. Granted the writing is very basic but I find it very ironic, in the best possible way of course, that a book about vampires - who are meant to be captivating and entrancing creatures - is entrancing in itself, and I would go so far as to say - it should be.

There have been questions over the "emotional porn" that they are said to represent, but, though I do think that there are novels and movies that exist to this affect, there are much worse than Twilight. I personally have been fascinated with anything of a vampiric flavor (small joke) since I was young and so this has just been added to my reference list of intelligentsia (however fictional and unrealistic this knowledge may be). Vampires represent an inversion of immortality that I find interesting. Eternal life was meant to be existed in God's presence and to have that sentence (taken for it's negative exchange) be carried out on earth produces a creature consumed in a battle between his tortured soul and his freedom. I use the term "freedom" loosely here, being a human definition of the word, not free in the sense of being complete and whole, which is what I believe true freedom will one day be.

Okay, so I think I've written enough to refocus, though perhaps I've caused you confusion, and for that I apologize. I tend to write stream of consciousness. Deal. If, it turns out, I have not written enough to refocus you can expect another post in relatively 10 minutes or so.

Da da da dum da da dum...

What is that called?!?!

I think I might go crazy... literally. You know when you can't think of the word for something, or the movie that a quote is from... well this one is the bane of my existence.

What is it called when a singer sings "da da da dum da da" or "la li la li" or "do doot do doot doot do"... as in "Bubbly" by Colbie Callait, or in "Romeo" by the Kin (thought nobody would really know that one). Or Nemmy - in "Seize the Day" - "li de di de di, li de di de di da di..."

AHHHH!!! Please help.

Lesson 1 - Place One Foot in Front of the Other

Realizing that I'm less than two months away from walking backwards over a cliff - the cliff being graduation, and the walking backwards correlating with the fact that I don't have a job, a place to live, or any clue in either direction - I should be getting nervous and sweaty and all those other lovely things that accompany sheer terrifying situations. Class, were you paying attention? Should. The inference being - I'm not. Very good. Gold stars.

Naturally, one might assume some super-human strength or courage that permeates my very core in which would inspire tales of my wonderful childhood with feats of overwhelming risks and conquests, maybe even an interview with my parents or sisters of some sort. Naturally, if this were the case, I would decline any such offers of monetary award for the secret of my undaunted bravery, but would willingly play the lead character in the movie adaptation, after such would be other endorsements and action-hero squeaky dolls as to create stir enough to force me into early retirement and seclusion from all human contact. I would then wither away from all known society leading to a dissipating life of loneliness and disillusion with the world. Naturally, fortunately, this is not the case.

The truth is I have an amazing God who is in charge and has a complete and perfect plan and purpose for my life. Other than that I know nothing about my future.

Besides, of course, the fact that I will never condone action-hero squeaky Mindy dolls.

If you have any complete and serious suggestions, or not-so-serious would be fine as well, about life options, please Class, do speak up.

Life Beyond the Gray

I'm smoothing out on every side
this shirtsleeve where my heart resides
gonna need it for today

Packing up and shipping out
the suitcase stuffed with all that doubt
don't need it anyway

What of control and what of before
the fights and designs
this one heart's looking for more
Lying isn't dying for a cause
anymore than crying ever was.

There lies a road, there goes a path
a way that's lined with aftermath
what use is it to wait

I'll leave behind the smallest me
the one who only falls in me
a life beyond the gray.

(My attempts at putting music to these lyrics have been unsuccessful to this point - maybe someday)

The Kin: Rise and Fall

[This is the day we come to say
All of the pain has come and gone away

This is the ONE WING DOVE
Today we come TOGETHER]
- The Kin

Last night Heidi, Joel and I went to the Roxy Theater in Hollywood to see The Kin, a great band - two brothers from Australia whose harmony, lyrics and sound are incredible.

Isaac is on the left and Thorry on the right in this picture. After their set we got to talk to them for a little bit about their music. Really nice guys.

It was so much fun to just stand right in the front, sing along, dance, and not even care about anything; just listen and enjoy. It was an experience of beauty, really. The theme of hope runs throughout several songs, and my favorite is New Day (though it is hard to pick between that and Together, and really all the other ones as well) in which there is an amazing harmony on the repeated line "War is over..."

At one point they came down off the stage and asked everyone to make a tight circle around them, which we all did, then they sang "Abraham", a song about the war between the sons of Abraham. Well, when Heidi was singing along, Isaac, as he was standing in front of us, turned around and encouraged her to sing louder... nice. So she did. You can actually see it in the video posted below.



To check them out got to www.thekin.com or their myspace at www.myspace.com/thekin

Hope you enjoy their music as much as I do!

Walking Barefoot

(So this is the "This I Believe" project I ended up doing)

I know that sometimes shoes must cover my feet
There's sometimes someone the world wants me to be.
For example: a party and I must put on heels;
Don't get me wrong I love them, but it’s just not as real
As walking barefoot across the grass or the sand,
And I know that myself is exactly who I am.
No cover, no limit, no facade and no front
No "yes world" and "no world" - no "I'll be who you want."

When I go to the gym, I'm healthy, I wear tennies.
When I go to my job, I wear heels, I save pennies.
When I'm a daughter, I wear what fits the occasion.
When I'm a sister I borrow and lend with patience.
Yet barefoot I am me, I can stretch and let loose,
In that moment no persona or form I must choose.
It is in these moments that I believe
I can open my mind and my heart is set free.

Yes, it's true that walking barefoot through life
I'll cross different paths, some of joy some of strife.
The joy feels like carpet deep and so soft
And the strife feels like sharp gravel or rock.
Yet I yearn and I seek to walk only straight
To not veer from the course God's called me to take.
And walking straight I want to feel all that I may,
Of the hurt and the pain and the joy and the gain,
With no regret in those moments that I've walked my own way.

My bare feet may be dirty they may be scrubbed clean
But they're there to tell part of the story of me;
Of where I've been of what I've been through,
Of all that I've done and have still yet to do.
No shoe will cover that, if I can help it.
If I walk through it I want to have felt it.

I guess what I'm saying, the only way it can be put
Is that “I believe in walking through life barefoot."

Dinner Conversation

Mr. Manning told me that there is someone special out there for me, and I will meet him soon.... So, I'm excited.